Thursday, April 24, 2014

Punching Bag Paq

The loins of a Frenchmen may have struck some random Chérie hotbox this past weekend, but her boyfriend's fist struck him in the face a few times after walking in on them bumping uglies. That's the risk you take when going home with a girl you don't know. It's always a 50/50 chance whether you get your dick wet or a dick in your face. But as Paggot explains, he was drunk, naked, and on the floor with a dude on top of him, so what exactly was he supposed to do but hold tight in the fetal position and ride out the dicking he was receiving?

Credit DFW for the video.


Oh no no, please don't go Secure! Where oh where else can the Drunkman find a comparable mothball snorting, butch lesbian mod who wants to dominate every aspect of his online life? Although it might be difficult for Shawn to find a replacement Secure, if he gets desperate enough he can always ask Tommy to don a wig and step up to that challenge by changing his name to More Mare Power. Because goodness knows he's been looking for a new Vikki anyway and when Shawn smiles and gets plastered he's close enough to the real thing.

Thanks to Lurkers for the head's up on this sad story.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Domestic Bliss, Take 2

Professional drunk Mike the Cannon sure had a fun day. After Croft prank called Michael, and after a few dozen death threats were thrown around, his wife, the real Cannonballs of the pair, joined in and ripped Croft a new asshole times two. A good rage + Croft the recipient of said rage? You had me at hello. Of course at the very end of the clip the wife's venom turned towards the man who is the spiritual successor of a Whoredawg's dental retainer mold. But as anyone who's been paying attention to the happy couple would know, that's hardly any surprise.

The Power and The Glory

Luna is Jesus. Also, Luna is John Lennon. No, I'm not pulling those borderline sacrilegious statements out of my ass. Vaughnlive's professional begging bitch went and compared herself to a deity of Christianity and music respectfully while discussing her hatred for men, her admiration for her carpet munching, crotch sniffing guard dog Angel/BellaStarr, and the magical love and compassion she spreads to her fellow sociopaths in her channel. Personally I hope Luna never changes and keeps this gravy train rolling for another 20 years or so. At least she gives me the opportunity to write about her freakshow on a slow news day.

Check out her fellow scamming nuisance Tina Weezer hanging out in Luna's channel. Making the most of these final days on the internet, sadly. Well, until she has to bump that deadline for when her electric gets cut off another few weeks forward so she can make the most out of this latest begging bullshit act. Tina, just invest in a church donation box and go wander in front of Walmart with it chained it around your hamhead. Might have more success that way.

War Dance

When he's not abusing the elderly while shitfaced out of his mind, Warbuck is setting white reggae back 20 years one cast at a time with his funky dance moves. Credit Haskel for at least 4 words out of the previous sentence, and for the hot tip.

The good times sure didn't last long. Some padded room dispute between Warbuck and Sexy ChrisWhile over the love and plus sized affection of Dirty Julie and quad-sexual comfort of MeNellie led to all sorts of stupid shit being thrown around. Gotta be honest, I find this all pretty boring unless Big Faggy Warbuck is raging and flinging chairs and keyboards and his mom around the kitchen. But there are some here who enjoy watching this mental case blubber and babble about nonsense, so here we go.

Blow Away Diet

All that hard work sculpting his body into the second coming of (Adrian) Adonis is thrown away for the comforting love of a Little Cesar's Hot n' Ready. For shame, OG Mike.

RIP Coinbox Fitness.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

More Horseshit

Hold up, playboy. You got a little creamy brown stuff on your nose there, let's keep that 100. After Tommy Mothman went and started lighting random shit on fire, Madame Scruffy called him and gave the magical midget a stern talking to. Never one to back down from romancing a slack jawed wildebeest, Tommy put on his most charming performance yet in an attempt to court favor with the Queen of the Rustic Ozarks. Get ready, folks - you can almost cut the bullshit with a knife!

Credit Toxic for the gif.

How Can We Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Originally posted on 4/21, bumped up so more people can see what this fool is all about:

Farewell, Tina Skeezer, 8 days in advance. Again. The interwebs sure are going to miss you faking poor health, death, and other misfortune during your absence. Or not. I mean who can really tell what the collective consciousness of a billion or so people are thinking all at once?

Just please be aware that this isn't a cash grab/cry for donations to keep her nets afloat, okay? Tina would never do such a thing. Nope. Never. However, if some kindhearted individual would care to send her a buck or 5,000, well I'm sure she'd very much appreciate it.

Hey, waiiiiit a minute. She's saying her electric and all that will be cut off come next Tuesday, April 29th? Didn't she say last week that it would be cut off on April 17th? Guess she didn't get the donations she was looking for by that date and had to bump the deadline back two weeks.


Gives me the perfect excuse to re-post these pics of Tina discussing her imminent demise with Mark, where she tells him she'll be leaving him her house. P.S. - this conversation happened back on JTV. **IN 2009/2010**!! And yet here she is, still standing to this very day :(


Whoops! After Foxman Shawn received $5 in paypal donations, Tina suddenly showed up and started her e-begging all over again. Shawn, well, he didn't take too kindly to her scamming ways...

Nicely done, Shawn! Credit DFW for the last batch of screencaps.


And to cap off the night in Weezer insanity, here's a few screencaps Lurkers caught for the blog.

Right on, Tina. Let your freak out, you old sack of shit!

Replacing Kmae as Battlecam's Resident Pasty White Asparagus

Meet Battlecam's newest lovely young lady of the night, all 85 pounds of her - ClaireDevil. Watch as she shows off the finely honed skills of her craft as she sucks on a rubber dong, gets her ass beat red by one of her Johns, and has the wisdom of that grizzled veteran of glory holes, Cronic, bestowed upon her.

The line to rent out her S&M services starts behind the googly eye of Ghostdog, so find your place now. Until then, brush up on your research when it comes to her rates and take it from there.

Backup copy of the video can be found here.


Yeah, this one is definitely going behind the cut so I don't get bitched out again. If you thought pics of Drunkman Shawn spreading his taint were bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....Iamsonchild196 doing her Bish tribute.

Click the "Read More" link below to view the glaucoma causing debauchery behind the cut. Thanks to the sadistic pricks in the Spitbox for the screencaps, I guess.

Hey Stoopid

Finally something worth watching on iVlog. His name is Zander Cooper Black and oh my he must have just been unfrozen from a glacier along with Captain America, because he looks like he just stepped out of an Alice Cooper music video from the 80's. Bro, that hair, bro. Just no, bro. One could fund a small European country with the amount of hairspray it costs to get his mane looking like that.


Monday, April 21, 2014

This Is The Song That Never Ends

Yeah, I'm about done with this shit for the night. No way anything can possibly top this level of absurdity during the rest of the overnight. Later.

Can't Rush Greatness

But you can rush a chubby black dude pulling down your pants and picking at the crust between your cheeks if you're Sarah Six Two.

If it seems like there's not much to this post, that would be accurate. I'm only posting them because someone was asking if the pics were here, as apparently she was denying this groping session ever happened. Thanks to the Anon in the Shoutbox for said pics.

Fedor Fail

Another drunk living with his mom, another total condom failure to add to the annals of social casting shame. This time it's SenorWingman on Battlecam, who you may also know by the names Kavinsky and Fedor Champ from Vaughn. Guess his mom is tired of supporting his bullshit well into adulthood, as she didn't seem all that pleased that he was cammed up when she walked into the room. Can't really blame her on that. Would you want the general public to know that your son is a mooching waste of space?

Still infinitely better than the legendary Smoothie's grandma incident though.

Canadian Bacon

Adambro and the old whoredawg sidekick, Nikki, are planning on meeting up and exchanging non-sexual admiration for one another? Well shit, I don't think humanity's gene pool can handle that catastrophe in the making. Good thing the suave debonair Adam has made it perfectly clear that no hanky panky will take place during this meet and greet, that he has no intention of taking advantage of poor Nikki, fresh off her recent breakup with the Foxman. But hey, if something romantic does develop between the two, well beggars can't be choosers and all that. Especially when you're a high priest of bullcrap like Adam is.

Don't worry about Drunkman Shawn though. He still has Secure!